There seems to be this unwritten rule that everyone is in a position to pry into a housewife’s life by asking the most ridiculous and insensitive questions without thinking about the implications. Aside from the usual what do you do all day kind of questions, I seem to get a lot of ‘Don’t you want children?’ or ‘Are you happy being a housewife?’
Some assume that their family values and opinions are the only correct ones and that anyone who doesn’t abide by those values are wrong – i.e. not having a child by a certain point in your married life or choosing to be a housewife rather than work a 9-5 job.
This is where my issue lies….A lady I know who is in a very difficult situation with an abusive husband but can’t openly talk about her issues, does she deserve to be questioned as to ‘why she lets her husband rule her life?’ (Yes I was present when she was bombarded with ridiculous questions by opinionated people who had no idea what she was going through!). Why do we feel so confident in asking such judgemental questions instead of taking a moment to think what she could be going through? Or on a more personal note – one question I have had asked the most since visiting London is when am I trying for another baby… Now I know a lot of people who ask this are sad that we lost our first baby, and maybe it’s just me, but I really don’t think asking those kinds of questions show you care… If anything it’s just really demoralising as there’s already pressure you put on yourself – so you don’t really need the additional pressure of what is everyone else thinking.
I think there’s a way to let someone know you’re there for them – that way IF you are someone who needs to know what’s going on in a person’s life then you will be told and you can be more sensitive in your approach. We should all be aware that our opinions are just that…Opinions. They are not matter of fact and no one should live their life according to your views. Just because someone has made choices you don’t agree with, don’t judge unless you know the reasoning behind those choices.
To make a comparison I feel as though if I was working in my previous job I wouldn’t have had so much questioning like I do now. I think people assume if you’re not working and you’re a housewife you should be focusing on having kids! Or if you’re a housewife people feel like you need encouragement in standing up for yourself against your husband etc. It’s all judgemental and quite stereotypical of people to make assumptions purely because you are a housewife.
Phew rant over!
Think before you speak….